Monday, September 21, 2015

Final cover designs for the Free Planet vs War World trilogies from Chimericana Books

690 pages in one title

620 pages in one title

Chimericana Books publishes the six books of the "Free Planet vs War World" dual/duelling trilogies as two 600+ pages novels in 8" by 5" paperback and various digital formats.

This year, Mike Philbin made a decision to resurrect his subversive keyboard entity Hertzan Chimera who 'terrorized the horror community for over ten years' prior to 2004.

"Though I was loathe to admit it, I have always been writing Hertzan Chimera novels," says Philbin, and Chimericana Books recently reissued his thirteen novels to date under the Hertzan Chimera writing name.

FREE PLANET (690 pages)
P3 or Patent Profit Power -- in the three books of the 'free planet' novel, the Custodian Liberation is battling the forces of G3 or Global Gambling Game to secure your right to your world.

WAR WORLD (620 pages)
D3 = Deception Danger Dreams -- in the three books of the 'war world' novel, G3 or Global Gambling Game are ruthless in their pursuit of profit but what secrets lie behind their power of control?

PROMOTIONAL WEBSITE: samples and purchase links for the original six novels of this dual/duelling trilogy can be found here @ Free Planet vs War World.

Friday, September 04, 2015


quick message to officially announce that Mike Philbin's so-called adult writing output is now to be delivered by the rambling high priest of insane, Hertzan Chimera.

Oxford UK-based artist/writer Mike Philbin has been an independently published novelist and short story writer since 1989. His first novel was “Red Hedz” published by Creation Press of London in 1989. His fully-illustrated short-story collection "Animal Instincts" was published by Double Dragon Press in 2004. 
He is the man behind the subversive keyboard entity Hertzan Chimera (invented on a whim to perform the scandalous duty in his fake-science editorial for Dementia 13 magazine back in the day) who terrorized the horror community for over ten years, prior to 2004. 2008, Silverthought Press (NY) published his novels “Bukkakeworld” and “Planet of the Owls” recently republished by Chimericana Books. 2011, sci-fi-cafe press published his novels “View from a Stolen Window” and “Yoroppa”. All these titles have since reverted to Chimericana Books where they are permanently available in paperback, Kindle and ebook-reader formats.

2016, and Hertzan Chimera is back with two competing three-part works titled “Free Planet vs War World” – this is War World.

His new sacrificial altar to odd is open for business, courtesy of Facebook

where all your smiling dinosaur babies are carressed by Jesus

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Chimericana Books - Hertzan Chimera - the resurrection of...

in 2004, it was reported that 'Hertzan Chimera had been laid to rest' by his solemn creator and Oxford-based artist/critic Mike Philbin would from then on be 'a good boy' once again, writing his mass-market-friendly novels and trilogies to appease the hapless reading public...


...all this time, that nasty little Hertzan Chimera or 'keyboard persona' was beavering away, behind the key-smoothed fingerprints of Philbin, helping him carve insidious injuries into all that narrative noise. Those 'Mike Philbin' books you thought you shouldn't buy because they may have lost all that psychiatric Chimera-edge... log back in to your online distributor of choice. And be brave in your H.C.-purchases. Re-read these old Chimera titles for the first time, knowing that The Master of Reader Hatred was shoving blunt knives into your pies all along.

Chimericana Books has recently re-issued all thirteen novels of Mike Philbin under his dirty-old-bastard pseudonym Hertzan Chimera because it's all you deserve.

to commemorate HUR or His Unholy Resurrection, Chimericana Books has re-released Hertzan Chimera's seminal short story collection as a Kindle exclusive. "Animal Instincts" by Hertzan Chimera is a collection of twenty-three violent and obscene short stories with a theme of 'animalia' and other assorted beastliness - many of which supplied material for his later "Free Planet vs War World" novel dual/duelling trilogies.

First published in 2003 in large-format fully-illustrated paperback by Double Dragon Press of Canada, Chimericana Books has republished Animal Instincts with the cover based on one of Mitch Phillips drawings for H.C.'s lurid Five Horned Bull story.

A collection of twenty-three violent and obscene short stories.

Stories and cover design © 2003-2015 Mike Philbin
Cover illustration © Mitch Phillips 2003



Here are some great author-quotes from back in the HC-daze that are about to make their way onto the paperback covers for the "Free Planet vs War World" dual/duelling trilogoies.

"Hertzan Chimera is destined for great fame -- solid gold planes and caviar squeezed from endangered fish. Know him! Embrace him! And ultimately -- worship him!" -- Mark McLaughlin, author of GOSSAMER EYE and MOTIVATIONAL SKRIEKER.

"Hertzan Chimera is both monster rant and taboo heat. His primal work clutches me in both G-spot and brain--and everywhere else in between." --Charlee Jacob, author of THIS SYMBIOTIC FASCINATION and HAUNTER.

"When I say that Hertzan Chimera's writings make me want to throw up, I mean that only in a good way. He's a major contender in the gross-out arena; his work is a hallmark of creative outrage." --Edward Lee, author of CITY INFERNAL and MONSTROSITY.

"Hertzan Chimera is the Henry Miller of Our Time. He has remortgaged the Horror/SF ghetto, replacing it with a Garrethouse of the Psycho-Erotic on the Left Bank of the Seine." --MF Korn, author of RACHMANINOFF'S GHOST and CONFESSIONS OF A GHOUL.

"As a longtime fan of the outre and fiction of the abject, I can say that very little of what I read anymore shocks, revolts, scares, or disturbs me. But Hertzan Chimera manages to do it every time. " --Michael A. Arnzen, Bram Stoker Award winning author of GRAVE MARKINGS and FREAKCIDENTS.

"Chimera's conflagrations raze cities of the human mind while his sickly dogs twitch in the burning bones of entropy." --James Havoc, author of RAISM and SATANSKIN.

"Hertzan Chimera and I raided the panty patch together from 2002-2004. During that time he screamed, bounded, lacked, compensated, and innovated. He kept things interesting, which is more than you can say for any hundreds of authors combined." --John Edward Lawson, author of Last Burn in Hell

...but Mike, "Hertzan Chimera, why is he back from the grave?"
"In 2004, I publicly killed off my 'Hertzan Chimera' writing persona or keyboard entity. Now, twelve years hence, I realise I have been writing nothing but Hertzan Chimera novels and can no longer bear to see my 'real name' on his book covers. Hertzan Chimera never died and his novels are what they are. Hertzan Chimera novels is how they'll be remembered. Long live HC-unit." -- Mike Philbin, August 2015

Stay tuned for more hair-raising updates in coming months, including the new Lorien Howell novel THE DREAM DETECTIVE AGENCY (book one ...the case of the missing century) and the new Hertzan Chimera collaborative novel (with performance artist Hecate aka Rachael Kozak) VENOMIST.

Monday, June 08, 2015

The Adult Adventures of Eli-X - Chimera Johnson Severin - the lost stories

click to buy Kindle version

Eli-X is the biggest porn star in the universe, 
nobody can stop him doing his sexy thaaang

Back in the day, writer Michael Cornwall Johnson and Hertzan Chimera started to write the sci-fi sex-horror FUCK STAR series together. Sporadically, writer Alex Severin joined the writing venture.

1: SILVERTEARS OFF THE SEX-EYE Hertzan Chimera & Michael Cornwall Johnson
2: THE BUTCHER OF BAKERLOO Hertzan Chimera & Michael Cornwall Johnson
3: THE CHASTISEMENT OF ELI-X Hertzan Chimera & Alex Severin
4: OEDIPUS-X Hertzan Chimera & Michael Cornwall Johnson
5: ELI-QUINCE AND SLICES OF MINCE Hertzan Chimera & Michael Cornwall Johnson
6: RAZORS OF THE LOST BITCH Hertzan Chimera & Michael Cornwall Johnson
7: MODIFACTUM ELI-X Hertzan Chimera & Alex Severin
8: THE IRON FARM Hertzan Chimera & Michael Cornwall Johnson
9: THE SCAR ON HIS MIND Hertzan Chimera & Michael Cornwall Johnson
10: PIE - THEY’RE SCREAMING FOR MY FUCKING PIE Hertzan Chimera & Alex Severin
11: MY, WHAT BIG EYES YOU HAVE, GRANDMA Hertzan Chimera and Michael Cornwall Johnson
12: BIG BANG GANG BANG Hertzan Chimera and Michael Cornwall Johnson and Alex Severin (the climactic story that never was)

These eleven stories were serialized on a now-defunct flash-based website dedicated to the aim of bringing literary-mind-sleaze to a wider online public. There were plans for a climactic twelfth story written by all three of us in collaboration to be titled Big Bang Gang Bang but we could never get it up, never quite came together. Never got done.

Today, these completed eleven stories are re-published for the first time in over ten years...


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Brand new five star Amazon review for BFGS by Severin & Chimera

like, thirteen years after its first publication, there's a brand new five star Amazon review for BFGS by Severin & Chimera -- here it is in its glorious entirety:

Ghastly and perverse to the nth degree; And I love it!.... 
By mark gutmaker on February 11, 2015 
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase 
Mike Philbin, along with his partner in crime, Alex Severin, have quickly become one of my all-time favorite "Splatterpunk" duos. Fans of Edward Lee and Wrath James White will surely sit up and take notice, but rest assured, this is not a mere carbon copy of the aforementioned, as this duo clearly possesses a smart and dreamy style of prose, and very poetically disturbing. Story after story, they unleash their extremely gruesome syntax, juxtaposed with some of the most horrifying subject matter I've ever perused and it just gets worse from there; A melange of nightmarish, taboo-breaking madness that only the hardest of the hard will stomach. These smartly written tales would surely become the Marquis De Sade's favorite collection. Also, be sure to check out Hertzan Chimera, who is Mike Philbin's alter-ego, and his tales, which decrepitude also knows no boundaries.... Okay, back to losing my mind, piece by piece!.... [source BFGS on Amazon]

Friday, November 14, 2014

2016 - Hertzan Chimera & Hecate Belphegor collaborate - VENOMIST novel

(c) 2014 Hecate Belphegor
words from the other side:
Have you ever had a dream where you walked into the Church and it thrust you back in time so that even your fancy phone-camera no longer worked? And the tiled floor was multi-dimensional, literally fractal. And the enormous church door had two layers of existence, an inner and an outer? Have you ever then been near-drowned and interrogated by an ancient swordsman who reminded you of Robin of Loxley?

Well, yes, Hertzan Chimera is dead, long may his soul rest in Lye. Eaten by fly. But what's this? A stirring in the chemical soup? An acid-tastic soft-erection? Is there a chance that he's? Oh, my God, No!!!!!

Look, fuck it, I'm just gonna come out and say this, "In 2016 I've promised to write a collaborative novel with famous anti-everything heroine Hecate Belphegor, it's prospectively called VENOMIST and yes it might very well be a new Hertzan Chimera novel."

Mwua hahah!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Chimeraworld resurgence going on...

you may not have heard about the Chimeraworld series.

It was an annual book project of horror, weird, bizarre stories from writers from around the world, that I edited for six years i.e. six editions published via Chimericana Books.

I'm bringing this up now because Chimeraworld seems to be making a bit of a comeback, a resurgence.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

2013 Hertzan Chimera ebooks - the keyboard entity - the sub-atomic unit

well, it's been thirty years in the arriving, but here it is, finally, the official expansion of the Dementia 13 fake-science article you've all been waiting for, and a re-edition of a heavily-cropped auto-biography of my invented writing persona who terrorised the small press horror community in the 1990's.

They both share the same name, Hertzan Chimera.
They both share the same cover concept.
They both share the same length 12,000 - 16,000 words.

each title is only $2.99 from all good online distributors

Saturday, December 01, 2012

BoyFistGirlSuck - Severin + Philbin - Erotic Horror For The Certifiably Insane

"I wouldn't buy this book if I were you." - The Publisher.

This is not Carpenteresque horror with sex thrown in. This is Erotic Horror for the Certifiably Insane. We're not being cute here. Seriously.

This is raw, uncompromising eye-rape that even porn search engines wouldn't advertize when it was first published in 2004, and was banned by a certain online Payment Processor.

Re-released for the first time in nearly a decade, in ebook and paperback, Alex Severin & Mike Philbin (formerly known as Hertzan Chimera,) bring you the quintessential Erotic Horror short story collection. With more than 52,000 words over 23 stories of psycho-sexual indulgence, no orifice is left untouched.


Splice Girl
The Coat of Many Cunts
From Beneath His Skin
The Compelling Iridescence of Her Flesh
Deviant Mind
You Die Tonight, Chisao
Black is the New Black
Face Seventeen
It's Never Enough
Kill Legion Tonight, Kill Legion Tonight
Why I Did It
Lycopersicon esculentum
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Fruits de Mer

WARNING! - Contains graphic sexual depictions, sexual violence, sexual vulgarity, and extreme horror & violence. It is advisable to download the sample of this book to try before you buy.


Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Bizarre Books resurrects two Hertzan Chimera short stories

Bizarre Books' creative director Kyle Robertt has decided to resurrect ye olde Hertzan Chimera in his two new short story publications, god bless his little socky wocks.

From Bizarre Books:
Three short stories from Jax, Hertzan Chimera, and Crowerd Robinson bring back the Splatterpunk fiction movement in "CORPSEGRINDER: A SPLATTERPUNK ANTHOLOGY". Edited by Kyle Robertt, "Splatter Tales" author.

From Bizarre Books:
STRANGEWORLDS: AN ANTHOLOGY OF BIZARRE FICTION, collecting four bizarre out-of-this-world mindf**k stories that are sure to disturb and entrance you in a whole new breed of strange underground fiction. Authors include L. Joseph Shosty, Jeremy Russell, Joseph Bouthiette, Jr. and Hertzan Chimera, edited by "Splatter Tales" writer Kyle Robertt. Cover art by the great Justin McElroy.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

sci-fi-cafe press reissue THREE Hertzan Chimera novels in Kindle format

sci-fi-cafe press (who, in 2009, produced the excellent audiobook version of my "A Most Heinous Crime" short story) has secured the right to release my back catalogue of THREE full-length Hertzan Chimera novels in Kindle format. These novels hark back to a 'more innocent' creative period prior to September 11th 2001, a time when the whole world (and my psycho-realist or sex-horror fiction in general) was less polluted by the fallout of Conglomerate Dogma.

JANE'S GAME: The technicians at the Fountains Institute for Molecular Research thought they knew what they were doing when they wrote her program, they had written and rewritten her so many times why should this time be any different?

Well, this time made ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

Our heroine, “Jane”, goes AWOL during a routine secret service mission and, through a series of furtive relationships, starts to unravel who, or what, she might be.

TWILIGHT'S LAST GLEAMING: A crippled young man undergoes psychotherapy at the Fountains Institute – he tells of a small town where 'medical experiments' are helping to save the universe from civil war.

But is this a case of the dream inventing the dreamer? Or vice versa?

One world is transforming, softly, insidiously, into some sort of mechanoid society, while the other world is under the ruthless dictatorship of the ACGT Nomadix. But there's one person who seems to exist in both worlds and she is key to saving the universe.

THE HOO-HOO ARE COMING: If the walls of reality started to crack, would you be brave enough to push through? What would a technologically advanced race like the SZMOHNFU want with a back-waters planet like Earth?

There's a serial killer on the loose – he's killing anyone whose name is an anagram of Judas Iscariot – and what seems like an arbitrary list of deaths soon amounts to a galactic conspiracy against mankind itself.

The dolphins know about it. And so does 'legendary crap elvis' heavy metal star James Doray!

Click any cover to purchase the relevant title.

These three novels are available from today through Sci-Fi-Cafe Press at Amazon and other great online distributors.

Trade paperback versions of these classic Hertzan Chimera novels are available for £6.99 from Chimericana Books.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

HORRORFIND (horror convention report) 2002

(I'm sure this was posted somewhere on the net but I can't find it, so here it is from the biography of an invented persona THE LIFE AND DEATH OF HERTZAN CHIMERA)

Here’s a demonstration of my dissatisfaction with the horror scene, in fact genre writing in general, as illustrated by my report of the Horrorfind2002 Convention, in Baltimore, USA. The report was done in the third person, intriguing in itself:

Hertzan Chimera sees the bustling queues as his steaming Super Shuttle pulls up at the BWI Airport Marriot just outside of Baltimore, in Lecter country. They are a colourful bunch, dressed in the multi-flavoured uniform of horror-conformity. All sorts of interpretations of the standard black T-shirt theme from the pasty-faced goths to the shiny faced rednecks and everything in between. These are the crazy-painted students, the devoted family units, the long-hours-patiently-waiting-in-line autograph-hunting freaks of cinematic and literary horror.

It is 7pm on Friday the 23rd of August, 2002. A 7½ hour flight London to Washington DC is followed by a “very interesting” 35 mile snaking trek up to Baltimore which took three hours due to the diverse Door To Door locations of the passengers of the Super Shuttle and rush-hour congestion on the I-95 headed north. Hertzan Chimera checks into his hotel room, freshens up after the journey and heads to the jam-packed convention area that has just opened for the first night of fun.

Horrorfind is a three day convention of all things horror, organised by Brian Keene and Mike Roden (owner of the Horrorfind website), compiler of the Jobs In Hell newsletter, head honcho of the Washington Chapter of the HWA and horror author in his own right (like where does this human dynamo get all this time?). Structurally, the convention is split into the three staple foodstuffs; writers, movies and superstars. Linda Blair is there signing autographs, as is ‘Pinhead’ Doug Bradley, Tom Savini and a rocking raft of other stars, major and minor. At the Fancy Dress Competition late on Saturday night crammed with a reputed 5,000 horror fans, Bruce Campbell holds centre stage with all the theatrical swagger of an old circus master of years gone by.

The dealer room is massive, in it are all the usual horror vendors; the T-shirt sellers; the banned or foreign import video & dvd peddlers; well respected horror publishers like amazing CEMETARY DANCE and ravenous slaverdogs like GAUNTLET PRESS, MEDIUM RARE BOOKS and NECRO PUBLICATIONS; living legends like Edward Lee and Jack Ketchum and the soon-to-be-ousted president of the HWA (horror writers association) David Niall Wilson and the soon-to-be-elected president of the HWA Joe Nassise; the comic artists; the prosthetic fx makers; the B-movie archivists; the jewellery makers, the antique sword sellers; the hills have eyes; even a Black Sabbath tribute band have a stall, but that’s already way too much publicity for them.

Hertzan Chimera isn’t too interested in the horror movie convention side of things – who wants to see a load of old movies? But it is a well attended slice of the horror pie and a worthy addition for the sheer number of delighted horror fans it serviced. And Keene ends up in a fight outside one of the viewings but this reporter is too busy schmoozing like a whoooooooore (well done for losing the photos, Kodak) to be in all places at all times.

Most of Hertzan Chimera’s time at the show is spent listening to the many and varied author readings the convention has to offer. There is a horror fiction reading on the hour almost every hour. It is clear that there are many interpretations of HORROR out there in the market from the slightly spooky to the downright grotesque and, to tell you the truth, in the majority of cases, this listener is bored, unshocked, let down by what he hears. There are truly not many writers there thinking outside the little patented ‘horror’ box. Be it romance, erotica or, yes, even horror it is all too evident that most writers are just filling in the blanks for their agents and publishers. No one is really trying to ‘horrify’ anyone. You wonder if they even enjoy what they write, it is so lack lustre at times.

But as with all sewer stained beaches, there are one or two trinkets glimmering in the dung. Jack Ketchum reading a quite romantic cancer piece with elegant authority. This after Wrath James White literally stuns the audience into nervous fits of laughter, raucous roars of disgust and crazed applause with his two short offerings to the God of the psycho-sexual debauch. John Turi, Weston Ochse and David Whitman deliver a corkin’ broadcast from Redneck Radio – their pseudo play is a riot and it receives by far the best (ie loudest and most raucous) response of all the readings. Gerard Houarner reads a thumping jazzy syncopated BEAT style of story from his DEAD CAT series and this reporter is on his feet applauding the great storyteller when he is released from the thrall. Worthy of mention was Harry Shannon’s reading – a man is knocked over and left on the bonnet of his car to die as his female murderer explains why she can’t possibly help him. Stunning. Mark McLaughlin (always a joy to hear) reads out among his poems a collaboration with this reporter published in Delirium Magazine a year or two ago, blushes for UKboy having only recently taken his seat at the front and wasn’t even aware of Mark’s intended reading list.

In the reading room, there are a couple of panels THE FUTURE OF HORROR and SEX HORROR (who gives a fuck, could have been the acerbic subtitle). Again and again, Hertzan Chimera returns to the allure of a writer who is gonna certainly be a sex-horror superstar in the very near future – Wrath James White. There is a tangible musk of female arousal in the air whenever Wrath is present at either reading or panel or book signing. He is charming and vile, all with a super-confident smile.

The convention is due to close round about 5pm on Sunday but Hertzan Chimera is outta there before 2pm to catch his flight home. Horrorfind was about three times the size of last year’s convention and, as Brian Keene said in the bar late on Saturday night, in a scene reminiscent of the blood-dripping sun-refracting gas-canister-laden threat of Jaws, “We’re gonna need a bigger hotel for next year.”


Saturday, February 07, 2009


"Am I a dog that you come against me with sticks?"

In the classic Biblical tale, shepherd David’s country is in a desperate battle against the great armies of the Philistines. King Saul’s men (among them David’s brothers) are impotent in the face of this enemy. Goliath stalks to the cliff of the hill upon which the Philistine armies are camped and calls across the valley to the hill where King Saul's army are staying.

Goliath yells, "Choose a man from among you to come fight me. If he can kill me the Philistines will be your servants. If I kill him all of you will become servants of the Philistines."

This thundering giant of a man who is 9 and 3/4 feet tall strikes fear into the hearts of King Saul's soldiers. Everyone is terrified of fighting this formidable giant.

Since no other soldier seems willing to fight the giant Goliath, King Saul allows David to fight the giant. King Saul takes off his heavy iron coat and helmet and dresses David in them. But the armor are too heavy for David. He takes off the armor and carries with him only his sling. He stoops at a brook in the valley and gathers five smooth brookstones, placing them in his shepherd's pouch.

The giant Goliath curses David by his heathen gods and shouts, "Am I a dog that you come against me with sticks?"

Breathing a quick prayer David places one of the smooth stones in his sling, draws back his hand and slings the stone quickly straight into the forehead of the giant, dinting his brow deeply. The rest is history.

You can imagine that Goliath got where he was because those around him who could have prevented his pathetic political game of bullying and humiliation didn’t have the balls to stand up to him and say, “No, Goliath. Enough is enough. This is getting silly.” Brian Keene, a Bram Stoker Award winner for his first novel THE RISING and the Horrorfind’s fiction editor has a similar shallow gang of hangers on around him. He has a forthcoming book due from mass market publisher Bantam/Dell but God only knows what they’d do if they saw how he treats his peers on his Hailsaten blog and public forums like Shocklines, Horrorworld and Message Board of the Damned. You’d imagine they’d drop such an unprofessional loser like a stone.

Now Keene’s not the brightest card in the pack. Anyone who disagrees with him is in for a rough ride as Keene is the master at turning a different opinion into a personal attack. He is on the look-out for it every where, like a true paranoiac he finds enemies even among those he sucks up to. He’s a self-confessed loudmouth and he’s taken a bully-boy pop at one or two of his peers in the horror small press; writers and editors like:

writer Nancy A Collins
editor Paula Gurun
writer McClellan Falk
writer Alex Severin
writer Jeff Vandermeer
writer Nickolaus Pacione
writer Nicholas Tillemans
writer Ron Horsely

That last victim of Keene’s verbally abusive repertoire, fellow American Ron Horsely, really kicks back like a mule and it’s sorta no fun watching them slug it out because Ron is so right; Keene’s a dick and nothing can save him from his Hand-made Hell of Dickness. Horsely’s denunciation on his Midnighter’sClub blog or on forums that Keene lurks on just comes across too easily, there’s no lingering agony.

Far more fun (painful) to watch, in my humble opinion, is the ongoing war of words between Keene and writer Hertzan Chimera. It’s a cheap old side-show attraction that’s been playing itself out for the last couple of years now on the forums, so let’s give this dodgy saga fair dues and set it like one of those grossly unbalanced funfair boxing matches. Let me just get sweated up and half drunk so I can deliver this with the right amount of spitting slur:

In the red corner, published by mass market wannabes Delirium and Leisure and representing the standard mid-west diet of genre horror fiction, our Goliath hails from Pennsylvania in the American heartland. A good six-footer whose annual HORRORFIND convention is the most popular venue on the horror calendar.
Brian Keene is gifted with a big chin and a wicked temper.

In the green corner, published by small press publishers like Double Dragon Press, Massacre Publishing and Cyber Pulp and representing the out-of-this-world horrors of the surreal our David hails from Oxford across the Atlantic. A slight, bespectacled man who runs the HORROR QUARTERLY (nee Terror Tales) website.
Hertzan Chimera has a big nose and a taste for blood.

Keene at one time willingly published Chimera on his Horrorfind fiction website and gave this glowing report of Chimera, Severin & Wrath’s co-written book BROKEN (my copy is signed by Wrath):

"BROKEN broke me! Each story is like a shot to the head, and White, Severin, and Chimera deliver a full clip. You'll need a shower and perhaps several years of therapy after reading this one." Brian Keene.

Then something clicked in Keene’s brain and suddenly Chimera writes utter shit, no one should ever bother reading one of his books, ever again. Chimera, who should have ignored this attack and just got on with his writing, will goad the volatile Keene at every public opportunity – picture the wicked little David loading another smooth brookstone into his shepherd’s sling ready to counter the slavering tirade of the imposing Goliath.

There was one classic that instantly springs to mind from the Spring of this year. Keene got his feathers all fluffed up that a story he’d co-written with a gang of other writers ‘before he was famous’ was being published in a book ‘without his permission’. So, Keene comes on like a bull in a China shop on the forum saying what had happened and how angry he was and how ‘heads were gonna roll’. Chimera posts ‘heads won’t roll, just go away and deal with it professionally and come back and tell us how it went’. Keene went ballistic and even got his writing buddies to back him up in his pathetic tantrum. I’m sure I remember Keene’s literary agent turning up on the forum at one point and leaving about a page and a half of diarrhea on the relevant thread.

They both clearly have merits as writers in their own specific field, this isn’t a question of whether I’d buy a book from either of them. Keene’s mass market novels are filled with seat-of-the-pants zombie action. Chimera’s avant garde books are filled with mind-warping scenes of sexual butchery. But as a true Odd Couple their not-so-private display of insult and counter insult puts the likes of even the legendary Lemmon and Matthau to shame. As to where this ties in to the Goliath/David legend only time will tell if the Goliath falls or David is crushed.

One would hope their wretched soap of mutual hatred would continue forever because it makes for recommended reading. It’s just such a pathetic situation you gotta love it for all the wrong reasons. In conclusion it’s a brilliant farce from a quaint dancing duet of dribbling drama queens.


Monday, April 21, 2008


preface: I've been doing aikido for over a year now, got to 5th kyu and not sure whether I'll take it much further than that... What's up Hertzie? Physically too hard for ya? Not muscly enough? Not good enough technique? Well, all that maybe and something else. Not enough of a sadist. What do you mean? Aikido-ka (as practitioners of aikido are known) might be the most sadistic bastards in the world. They seem to revel NOT NECESSARILY in the perfection of their form BUT in the near-maiming of their fellow aikido-ka, whose well-being is in their hands at the moment of completing any technique. Some just take it too far. And it reminded me, I did this story Aikido Whore way back in the mists of time - seems fitting somehow, now.

short story by Hertzan Chimera

She was the stuff of magic: a PrimeTime show-n-tell superstar. 140 European pounds. Stiff right arm. Back a rod of iron. Center of g pivot guiding the hilt. Left hand nail-gunner.

Aikido Whore was a post divorce runaway from Seattle deep in heretic country. Her parents were sea-farers from old Nihon and Aikido Whore returned to the fold most weekends. To the rocky escarpments of her ancestry. Chilling chimes of angry foam colliding with her frigid naturism of icy rain on black nipples.

Aikido Whore lay back on a cliff edge of rainstorms, her meter long katana between her white thighs. The lilting chime of inclement weather banging on the cold steel shaft. The striated handle of carved ivory strapped in gold velour, ribboned for her pleasure. Her half drowning sounds ripping at the black sting of long-lost ecstasy.

Her parents called her the passion killer. Pretty complexion. Well-groomed short black bob. Razor thin lips. Black ice behind her eyes. No facial scars. She taught you how to make choices easier to stomach.

One day she came to our town on the outskirts of nowhere in her bleached white gi and prominent sword of sorcery. Cars would honk like a V of geese and pull alongside her, blood flooded penises unsheathed in battle glory.

I met her just that one time, bumped into her more like, in the local Porn Library. She had ten A-levels in some obscure fields of intellectual sado-masochism. She gently helped me to my feet, a true Samaritan. I watched her perving for hours, her black eyes caught in the speed-reading radar refracted light from superfast prisms you would use to calculate c; the juiciest of vitamin visions.

Aikido Whore was hounded by the martial arts paparazzi, heckled on street corners where she plied her illicit trade in razor cuts of sleaze and chrome rainbows of terror.

She finally accepted a live-on-the-air challenge from a young upstart on the heaving, sweltering sidewalk; a fibrous fleshed Samurai Crack Whore with no front teeth; got them knocked out sucking daddies chromium plated cock post-industrial evolution. She had a golden chassis of the most wonderful allure, smiled as she entered the spotlight. Headlamps blazing from the furtively polished bonnet of her forehead, the V8 in her skull pan revving, purring.

Aikido Whore was like a calm lagoon by comparison. Picture the extravaganza, it is 7:30 pm on a Wednesday Night Newsflash, they are gonna show the contest GlobaLive. Forty six independent states across what remains of our all-too-fickle global economy. These sexual gladiatorials are all we need, they scratch their crotches in household after household after household. Even the pre-high-school-jinx kiddies, allowed to witness this televised filth, scratch their little crotches, spit into spittoons in global unison as the first cursory sword blows forge a naked parade of loin and lightning across forty six independent states.

In the studio audience, men no younger than my grand pappy tore off their shriveled cocks in last-ditch-attempt to lay some fine muscular filly before their time is up. The stage, which sloped towards the camera like a leaking water bed was a awash with these gory, torn off penile stumps maggoting in old rutting wounds the sheen of faded dollar bills.

A swift slash across the chest opened up Samurai Crack Whore's ribcage and in flew several of the rancid slivers of throbbing, pulsating old-man-hood. Samurai Crack Whore retaliated with a big old hack then a swooping slash and a raging impalement that well nigh quartered Aikido Whore there on the spot in the spotlit arena of Porn that was Prime Time TV. Strobe lines of purest Manga influence as she hit the deck. The penises leapt onto her, filling her gaping gashes, fondulicating every live orifice. Cut to the chase and it was an easier win than you would expect for Aikido Whore who writhed about dying fish fashion. Her vaginal juice dripping demise letting off sonorous farts of lubrication as Samurai Crack Whore of Intended Retribution hacked and slashed ad infinitum. All that remained onstage was a split open slaughter of unrateable excess. A miasma of murder for all the luvvies of television land to devour and digest in their ruminant comfy chairs.

And quickly the votes poured in. Aikido Whore scored highly on Artistic Expression while her slut steeled opponent scored equally on Technical Merit. It was flung open to the studio audience totally brain fucked by the lecherous lesbian horror of steel-raped cat flaps.

Anecdotes are heard even now, fifteen years into the tube-blurb future, of the night Aikido Whore brought the house down at 7:30 pm on a boring Wednesday night of Prime Time TV. Legendary fuck festival of the mind, they tend to call it. Long may TV be full access. Opening all to the pleasure of the sexual brawl.